For the past 20 years, the women of my mom’s side of the family have celebrated each other on one very special weekend every autumn, “Women’s Weekend.”
Women’s Weekend, held in Ocean Park, Washington, is two to three Girls Only! days of food, wine, book
discussion, goal setting, and familial bonding. I had a work conflict this year and couldn’t attend, but shortly
before the big weekend, found out that I didn’t have to be at the conflicting concert and
could go after all! I drove down, surprised my mother (who I hadn’t seen in
2 months, the longest I
stretch in over four years), and settled in for some good old-fashioned family
time.
Saturday night was book group night. A dozen or more women sit around in a circle to
discuss and lend recently enjoyed novels, memoirs, and biographies. My book tastes don't really fit in,
and I also read plenty of books that I wouldn’t necessarily recommend (namely
“Pretty Little Liars” and all the poorly written History of Weddings and
Marriage books I’ve been wasting my time with), so it took me until right before my turn to
decide on a book to share.
I toyed with talking about “The Citizen’s Constitution: An Annotated Guide", but settled on “The Trapp Family
Singers,” the autobiography of Maria von Trapp and basis for The Sound of
Music. Considering how very loving,
emotional, and womanly this group is, I was very surprised that no one wanted to
hear my many anecdotes about how the book compares to the movie-musical. (Maria was really asked to leave the
convent because she sang, skipped and ran too much! The kids really
drove away many governesses! Maria really wore an ugly, ill-fitting dress to
the von Trapp estate because she had given away all of her own clothes! The Captain really had whistle calls for his children! Marie really sewed rompers for the kids! (Though not out of
curtains) The Baroness really
confronted Maria about the captain being in love with her and Maria ran back to
the abbey!) Who doesn’t want to hear this stuff?!?
Well, I didn’t want to hear about their books, either. All that my aunts, grandmother, and mom seem
to read is books about helping people in other countries (Africa is big
lately) while finding oneself, or heartbreaking books (topics include war,
abuse, mental illness, poverty) that are described in lengthy detail, always
with, “It was so heartbreaking, (select one) I would have to put it down periodically/I
couldn’t read anything else for weeks/I cried, but you definitely need
to read it.” No thank you.
Following book club, we did “Goals”. Goals is the portion of the evening
when we open last year’s (or whenever you were last there) goals, read them,
reflect, write this year’s goals, put the paper in an envelope with your name
on it, and put it in a bag. Then
aunt Louise puts the bag in a safe and brings it out the following Women's Weekend.
You don’t read your goals aloud, but Kelsey, mom and I
shared our goals with each other.
I had totally kicked my goals' ass,
which were written in 2007, during or right before my senior year in college.
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Ashley's Goals 2007:
1. Get into grad school or get a
job.
Double check! I’ve done both of
these since 2007!
2. Be more like Caitlin (this is
not serious)
Clearly, Caitlin was reading these
as I wrote them.
3. Have a functional relationship
or at least convince myself that I am capable of having one.
Um, have you seen my ring? CHECK.
4. Be nicer to Caitlin (Just
kidding, I am perfect)
After the thrill of having seriously rocked my stated
goals of five years ago had abated, I was a little intimidated to write any new
ones. I had just achieved another pretty big set (get engaged, quit
my job, move to the west coast, select a wedding venue, get a new job, get Ken
to the west coast) in a relatively short period of time (two months and twelve
days), and just want to relish in the improved quality of my life rather than rush into new goals.
Further, after having so successfully dominated 2007’s goals, I didn’t
want to set myself up for disappointment next year. I decided to make it easy:
Ashley’s Goals 20121. Get Married
Having not achieved her goals, mom followed suit with an
easy win:
See my daughter get married.
your goals are hilarious. but mom kind of cheated. i would have expected better from her.... like see her youngest daughter complete a year of school.
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